Potato jokes
If you think your life is bad, then people are discussing the gender of Mr. Potato Head.
What do you get when you combine a penis and a potato?
A dictator.
American: How do you use a PC?
Amish: We use a potato.
What do retarded cops give tickets for?
Going over 45 in a potato zone.
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?
The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.
What’s 23 times 2?
A potato.
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?
A baked potato.
What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?
Mashed potatoes.
Fun fact: Pringles are named Pringles because somebody decided to name them Pringles.
Man: Die, potato!
Potato: *screams*
I like trains.
Kid: I like trains.
Man: No, wait!
Train: *kills man*
A french fry was talking to a potato, but the potato didn't understand what he was saying.
It was because he didn't speak French.
Green beans, potato salad with the one that was in the fridge for me.
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
Teacher: Don’t run into the road!
Down syndrome: Weeeeee!
Teacher: Lol, now he’s a mashed potato.
She was only a potato chip manufacturer's daughter--but she was Frito-Lay!
Why can't an orphan get a tattoo at a young age?
They don't have parent permission.
They didn't know where to put the orphan. He was returned from the hospital he was born from; the parents gained one cent, while the orphan gained potatoes as friends.
Roses are red, potato chips are savory...
The United States prison system is legalized slavery.