Politics jokes
Who got shot in the head? JFK did!
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.
When you fail art school.
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home.
As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump's wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie.
As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him, and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him.
Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn't really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump's friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump's friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, "Aww, I'm lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!"
What about women's lefts?
I find it bemusing that hardcore right-wingers are superfans of Johnny Depp, considering that he looks like a dangerous Mexican drug lord.
Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they've got a supreme ruler.
What do you call five black people having sex? A threesome.
What is the difference between the assassination of César and the assassination of Jesus?
They were both killed by Romans.
Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.
What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never try to legislate against?
A school shooting.
He he, that's MJ's pronouns.
23 is Michael Jordan's.
Fake news is Trump's.
Hey, I misplaced 2.1 trillion a few days ago, on September 7th, 2001.
White comedy week:
Monster Truck Monday
Trailer Park Tuesday
White Trash Wednesday
Take Your Sister Out Thursday
Fox News Friday
Storm the Capitol Saturday
Say You’re Sorry Sunday
Welcome to politics: You lie to fight and fight to lie.
It used to be "My Body, My Choice" until Trump came to power. Now it's "Your Body, My Choice."
What do Hitler and Trump have in common? They both do hand gestures.
To anger a Libertarian lie to him, to anger a Democrat tell him the truth, to anger a Republican sodomize him.
Bin Laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1! #justice