Politics jokes
Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?
Because he hated the Poles!
What’s Hitler’s favorite letter?
Not Z.
What is the difference between a Libertarian and a dumb polack?
Not much difference.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
Memes
Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.
What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!
A kid asks Trump:
Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"
Trump: "There they are, bud!"
What do you call a blind German?
A Nazi (not see).
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.
Why can't England play chess?
Because they have no queen, and they will soon lose their king.
What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?
The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
Trump built a wall that Mexicans can't get over it.