Why does Britain suck at chess?
They lost their queen.
Politics Jokes
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
Why doesn't the U.S. Government play Clash of Clans?
Because they lost two towers already.
Why is England bad at chess?
'Cause they lost their queen.
What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.
The sexy towers are just like my sexy toes because when I crashed a plane into the tower, it burned and bled.
Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?
A: When they are falling from their balcony.
What's Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A double Manhattan.
Me: "The villain has a point, you know."
Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:
When does a Pentagon have 4 sides? When it's intercepted by a plane.
JFK tried meditating. He told everyone he is very open-minded.
If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,
that's a big red flag!
Q: How do you know when Putin is lying?
A: His lips move.
I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.
Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.
I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.
Who is the gorilla's favorite president of the most recent years? It's Hairy Truman.
What's Mussolini's favorite food?
Fussolini!
It's past April Fool's Day, and we still have a joke as president.
I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.
