Politics jokes
You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!
Donald Trump took the bullet better than Joe Biden took the stairs.
Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.
Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"
Trump: "Screw the women and children!"
Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"
Genders are like the twin towers. There used to be two, but now it's just a sensitive subject.
As the coronavirus pandemic strengthens...
Trump - "Quick, inject yourselves with bleach!"
Also Trump - "I order everyone in America to wear a face mask except for me!"
My friend is blind.
So he always says he cannot Nazi.
My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!
Make America hate again.
Why was Trump banned from music class? He kept putting his finger on D minor.
What was Clinton encouraged to get in college? A minor.
If Joe Biden and Kamala Harris jump off a cliff, who survives?
Americans...
Kid: I'm hungry.
Dad Bot: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
Teenager: I'm Hitler did nothing wrong.
Dad Bot: Hi Hitler did nothing wrong, I'm dad.
Nazi: Finally!
What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?
Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.
ICE and ISIS have similar first syllables. Coincidence? I think not!
Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they lost two towers.
My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"
I told him, "Probably a bullet."
Wanna hear a racist joke?...
Donald Trump.
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
Into little Nazis.
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
Young man: "Very good money, and how about the name of the stupid young man again?"
Friend: "Dagobert Duck."
Young man: "Ah, I remember. He was the American useless."
Friend: "Ah, you mean Donald Trump?"
Young man: "Yes, just like that! I know exactly how the guy managed to become president. Hahaha!!!"
Donald Trump didn't even finish the wall. He should have hired Mexicans to do it!