Politics jokes

North Korea?

My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!

What did Trump say to Ukraine when Putin bombed them?

"It was Antifa!!!! And China!!!!"

He only won the election because of rigging.

82 million votes my ass.

Ask me for proof.

Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.

What's Trump's favorite instrument?

A TRUMPet!!!

Somebody told me to go to hell, so I walked up to Donald Trump.

What do you call a blind German?

A Nazi (not see).

Iran: Prepare the FINAL SOLUTION.

Israel: And you'll be telling the whole world, "I-RAN AWAY!"

Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.

Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.

Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?

A. A backroom deal.

What is the difference between an Isis training camp and a school?

Not sure, I just fly the drone.

Being unemployed is like watching our president fall over himself on the stairs.

There’s no hope.

Why can't England play chess?

Because they have no queen, and they will soon lose their king.

Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.

They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?

What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?

Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.

Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?

Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!

I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.

A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.