Politics jokes
What about women's lefts?
Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only killed communists.”
I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.
Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.
Why are natives called redskins? Idk, ask the pilgrims 😂
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
Memes
Who is the gorilla's favorite president of the most recent years? It's Hairy Truman.
I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.
What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato?
A dictator.
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?
A. A backroom deal.
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
What war did the black community win?
The Obama era. Only to lose to a smarter white person.
Being unemployed is like watching our president fall over himself on the stairs.
There’s no hope.
Yo mama so fat that the US (Mexico) and North Korea (South Korea) got into a war fighting over who gets to use her as their border wall.
Where do terrorists go for food? The Allah snack bar.
Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.