Politics jokes

I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.

We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.

Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?

Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!

In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."

Why didn't Trump beat Biden?

Because he couldn't trump that bitch!

Feminists are a joke.

What do Joe Biden and Russia have in common?

Neither of them respect boundaries.

iran

I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.

Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.

What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.

Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.

What do you call a born-again heteroflexible male that is a Christian nationalist who thinks he is bisexual when the LGBT community knows that he is bicurious and that he is on steroids and that the LGBT community knows that he is not telling the truth about that? He is a gay man that is in the closet. He should be forced out of the closet by gay men in the LGBT community by any means necessary if gay men in the LGBT community still want to defend the wall of separation of church and state by any means necessary.

What do you call a Mexican's prison?

The border.

I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.

I think Abraham Lincoln was gay because a guy shot from behind.

What did Trump rename the Presidential plane?

Answer: Hair Force One!

How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?

None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.

My name is Joe Biden, and I forgot this message.

Americans won't have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.

Everyone's always saying they're so worried about America's big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I'm not worried about that... I'm worried about the idiot on the end of it.

If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.