Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.
For all the talk of Donald Trump loving America, most of his lovers are imported from Eastern Europe.
Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?
Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!
What did Trump rename the Presidential plane?
Answer: Hair Force One!
I think Abraham Lincoln was gay because a guy shot from behind.
What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?
Answer: The front row of a Trump Rally!
My name is Joe Biden, and I forgot this message.
Bad Hitler puns are infuhrerating.
Americans won't have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
Everyone's always saying they're so worried about America's big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I'm not worried about that... I'm worried about the idiot on the end of it.
If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.
If you own a gun and you live in the USA, hide your gun upstairs. Biden can't get it.
Biden: *falls over on steps*
Wanna hear a joke?
Feminism.
Trump says to Obama, "You know it’s the White House, not the black house, right?" And Obama says, "Yeah, but it isn’t the orange house either."
BIDEN!
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
Q: What is Trump?
A: An oversized oompa loompa.
What's the difference between a Nazi and an onion? If you cut a Nazi, nobody is crying.
Why can't Trump go to the White House anymore? Because it's forbidden!
