Politics jokes
What do you call Liberal Scare Tactics?
A Conservative's Utopia.
We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have Biden, no cash, and no hope.
Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.
What did the trumpet say to Trump?
"Hi, fellow trumpet!"
Bin Laden was the hide and seek champion for 10 years, 2001-2011.
White 40 year olds love little white kids, and so does Trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter!
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn’t all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
Brazil is a joke.
What do you call a blind German?
A Nazi/Nattzee.
Q: Why is America bad at chess?
A: Because they already lost two towers.
When the person who killed JFK heard "headshot."
What's the difference between George Floyd and Joe Biden?
They both talk like they're on fent.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Tory shirts step in doodoo.
What did the racist Catholic priest say?
"Martin Luther? Not my king!"
Trump built a wall that Mexicans can't get over it.
What hates socialism but still uses roads, police, and says they support the military?
Dumb right wingers.
In the morning at 6:30 AM,
Teacher: Who fought in World War I?
Me: Trump & Biden.
Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.
After school,
Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.
"She looks at her clock."
Teacher: And now I am sewed.
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; Because it's where everyone goes to "Hang Their Meat"!