Police Jokes

When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you

When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called - sheesh

Why did the chief go to jail?

Because he beat the eggs and whiped the cream

Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he cant get 5 stars because he ain't wanted

I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights

He arrested me for impersonating Gorge Floyd. *I have seizures*

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...

I used to be emo..

Police:come with me I’m taking you home orphan:well we need to find them first

Police:then I don’t need to take you home

Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.

If a kid dosent take their nap dosent that mean they are resisting arrest?

so i was asleep and woke up and went to work my wife left already to her job i was driving my car and ran over someone i woke up in my bed realized it was all a dream 20 minutes later i got a phone call the my wife got hit bye a car

I was invited into a celebrity's house, thats what i told the cops at least...

*trigger alert* why did the racist cop shut down the space brothel because there were too many black holes.

Did you hear about the dyslexic wanna-be bank robber? He walked in and yelled "HANDS UP, THIS IS A MOTHER STICKING F##K UP! The lucky idiot got away because nobody could stop laughing!

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb.

None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.

There once was 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said this is disgusting and threw it out the window the 2nd man bit into a banana and said this is rotten and he threw it out the window the 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed " ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT" and he threw it out the window. Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying he replied an apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head! the police officer said that is weird and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked why are you crying and he answered a banana came flying out of the sky and hit he on the head the officer said this has been a strange day. Then he says a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said while he was laughing my dad farted and the house blew up.

I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?

There was a person inside, who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid so they put in people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor, and the 94th floor, literally.

A Story:

I lived in a small house. Behind my house was a big forest. If I went in the forest, then I heared scary sounds. That was very dreadful. I had a son. He was 9 years old. One day he went into the forest and did not come back. I called the police. But it couldn't help. I went looking. I really wanted my son Robby back. I missed him so! With a flashlight and compass I went into the dark, eerie forest. Then the noises came again. But this time I also heard a scream. A scream from a nine year old child. It was Robby. Certainly! I stopped in front of a tunnel.

Sequel follows...

A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America, The Mexican man come up with some sob story and the police say all right all right ok says the police. ill let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it. The Mexicans thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says ok ok let's hear it after waiting impatiently, the Mexican said ok ok don't rush me I'm ready. The Mexican replied ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow !!!!