Poem jokes

A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.

B is for Basil assaulted by bears.

C is for Clara who wasted away.

D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.

E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.

F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.

G is for George smothered under a rug.

H is for Hector done in by a thug.

I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.

J is for James who took lye by mistake.

K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.

L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.

M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.

N is for Neville who died of ennui.

O is for Olive run through with an awl.

P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.

Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.

R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.

S is for Susan who perished of fits.

T is for Titus who flew into bits.

U is for Una who slipped down a drain.

V is for Victor squashed under a train.

W is for Winnie embedded in ice.

X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.

Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in.

Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.

Rock-a-bye dummy, in the tree top.

When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.

When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall.

Down will come dummy, cradle and all.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. They turned to drunks and have no will. Jill said to Jack, "Your love reveal, then think of building me a still."

Roses are red, violets are blue, she is hot, but you're as ugly as poo.

My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:

I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!

Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued; your blood was delectable, and so was the rest of you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, How many bananas can I fit, Maybe two?

Roses are red.

Roses are red.

Roses are red.

I smell burnt toast.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, and the middle one is for you.

Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.

A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,

"Jenny and Jonathan sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."

I don’t have a joke but a poem about a sex/dark joke.

Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, I can make you scream!

Roses are red, grass is greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.

Roses are red, violets are violet.

Roses are red, Burnt bodies are black.

You'd look great With a knife in your back.

Roses are red, violets are blue, this poem doesn’t make sense, washing machine.

Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.

Well, I don't have a joke but... I have a poem.

My dick is red, your pussy is blue. I... lied to you.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I have a gun,

GET IN THE VAN!!