Play jokes

Why can't a Chinese kid play baseball?

They ate the bat!

My friend and I were playing Poker... And my friend also beat me with Jackass.

When your mom tells you to stop playing on the computer, you say, "Foot you!"

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

They can’t find home.

Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?

Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."

As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )

Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!

Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!

Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*

Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!

Lil Johnny's teacher wanted to play an alphabet game, so she said, "What word starts with A?" Lil Johnny raised his hand fast, but she knew that he would say "ass," so she picked on Sally and she said, "Apple." She said, "What word starts with B?" Little Johnny raised his hand as fast as he could, but she knew that he would say something like "bitch," so she picked on Emmanuel and Emmanuel said, "Banana." She went all the way to W. Little Johnny raises hand as fast as he could again, and the teacher thought of a cuss word that could start with the letter W. She could not think of a cuss word that could start with W, so she called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny said, "Wow." The teacher said, "Good job." Then Little Johnny said, "Like wow, two elephants fucking!"

Why can't New York City play chess?

Because they lost 2 towers!

My friend told me that he saw a yacht went close in to the yeti's eye, so I said to my friend, "Did the yeti kiss?" But my friend said, "No, the yeti have to play games every single day, or the yeti will die."

What do you call it when the Edmonton Oilers play against the Nashville Predators? A Diddy Bowl.

Why can't orphans play soccer? Because they can't practice with their dad.

Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆

One time my boyfriend and I were playing the tickle game and I tickled him on his thighs by accident, and I said, "Oh no, I am dead."

Then he started tickling me on my thighs up to my vagina, and then I moaned while laughing and told him, "STOP, please."

Then he said, "That's what I thought," and I was like, you cheated. He was like, "You first did it."

So he went to the restroom and pulled down his pants. Then I jumped on him and pulled his dick five times, and he screamed, and I quickly ran out and laughed. Then he ran to me, and I screamed, and he started eating my pussy and fingering me while I said, "Okay, okay, stop."

And he stopped and started sucking my boobs and giving me hickeys while I said, "Please stop," and then I pushed him off, and he turned me around and put his dick in my hole, and I said, "Owwwwwwww."

Then he said, "Play with me, I'll fuck you up."

I said, "Ughh," and slapped him.

You know how there were like... two towers. I had so much fun playing Jenga in those planes! I WON!!!!!

I have no puns because I don't play soccer.

Since Christopher Reeves can't play Superman, they got a new person: Christopher Walken.

Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?

Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!

I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"

What was the first sport played on the moon?

Capture the flag.