Play Jokes

So I came across a guy who was carrying a ton of clothing and makeup.

And I asked him what he is doing.

Guy: Some kawaii girl told me if I bought and brought her this crap, she would let me play with her tits.

Me: Erm... Are you a simp?

Two minutes later, the guy arrived at Kawaii Girl's house.

KG: You have it?

Guy: Yup, now can I play with them?

KG: Sure!

KG then went to her room.

Guy: Ohhhh, I know what your going to do. You're gonna call me over and you will be-

KG then held a bird cage with two birds in it.

KG: Have fun playing with them!

Guy: WHAT THE FU-

Lil Johnny's teacher wanted to play an alphabet game, so she said, "What word starts with A?" Lil Johnny raised his hand fast, but she knew that he would say "ass," so she picked on Sally and she said, "Apple." She said, "What word starts with B?" Little Johnny raised his hand as fast as he could, but she knew that he would say something like "bitch," so she picked on Emmanuel and Emmanuel said, "Banana." She went all the way to W. Little Johnny raises hand as fast as he could again, and the teacher thought of a cuss word that could start with the letter W. She could not think of a cuss word that could start with W, so she called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny said, "Wow." The teacher said, "Good job." Then Little Johnny said, "Like wow, two elephants fucking!"

Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.

Passengers: *Clap*

Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.

Flight Attendant: And what is that?

Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*

Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---

Why does Trump play Minecraft?

'Cause he can build walls.

Time to play guitar!

*absolutely shreds*

Oop

A tweet from CBS News stating that a Florida man was arrested for kidnapping 27 people and forcing them to play Yahtzee for 36 hours straight. The tweet includes the man's mugshot.

Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he doesn't know where home is.

Name one person who would take an orphan?

Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.

Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?

Because they’re a bunch of cheetahs!

A pedophile is sitting at an empty poker table. An eight-year-old kid asked him if he could sit down. The pedophile says to the child, "Sure, let's play."

Why did the priest want to learn how to play the organ?

He wanted to be able to finger A minor.

What is the definition of Endless Love?

Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis!

Why can't gay people play Baseball? They can't throw the ball straight.

Yo mama played the iceberg in Titanic.

After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.

They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.

So an orphan played for a football team, and the coach said, "Your parents must be proud of you!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Playing hide and seek with Helen Keller wasn’t the best idea you’ve had all day.

Yo momma's so fat, she doesn't know how to play bacon.

Why do Indians like basketball?

Because Steph Curry plays it.

Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.