Play jokes
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.
Today I heard someone playing "Dancing Queen" on the didgeridoo.
It was very Abba-riginal.
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."
Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?
A: The size of balls they play with.
Why are English people bad at chess? 'Cause they lost their Queen.
Why can't the US play chess? 'Cause they lost their towers.
What games do monks play a lot?
Among Us.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
Why don’t Pakis play football? Because they only hold onto balls attached to prepubescent boys' cocks.
What instrument do orphans play?
The sax alone.
Playing a game called 7-Up.
Student: Why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers?
Teacher: It's cheating!
Student: No! It's the object of the game.
I play with balls. Not me, the girl that was "playing something."
Random words in my keyboard:
The most annoying part of this game has always been that the players don’t know how much time it takes to get to the table before you start playing them.
Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
An orphan can’t ever play Grand Theft Auto V because he can’t get a wanted level.
My friend and I were playing Poker... And my friend also beat me with Jackass.
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
I told the emo girl to stop playing fruit ninja on her wrists.
I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas, my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved... and shot her.