Play jokes
Friend, you're bold and fat.
Me: Bro, go to the bathroom and look at the mirror. You will probably break it.
Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.
Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!
Why did the rapper refuse to play cards?
Because he was tired of dealing with all the jokers.
What do you call two Latinos playing baseball one on one?
Why don't rappers ever play hide-and-seek?
Because good luck hiding when your name's always dropping!
I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.
Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”
Welp, that’s it.
POV: You are 7 years old and you find a stick. SWORD.
Murder: Wanna play a game?
Me: Ok (pulls out Xbox controller)
Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.
Jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool. Then Jack came in and asked Jill if she wanted to ride in his new car. She said, "I have to think." Then Jack said, "At least let me buy you a drink." After 5 drinks, he asked again. This time she said yes, so they got in the car and Jack and Jill rode up a hill to Jack's home. Then Jack said, "Close your eyes, I got a surprise!" So Jack lead Jill to his room then said, "Open your eyes!" So Jill opened her eyes, then Jack got them some red wine. Jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and Jack said, "I know you wanna." She said, "No way!" So Jack gave her one more drink, then she passed out. Then Jack ripped all his clothes off. Then he did the same to Jill. Then he did it till 3am.
Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.
They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...
I played Clash of Clans, and when I requested troops, all I got were some Muslim wall breakers.
I'm still playing hide & seek with my dad.
Your hairline was playing Sorry!
Pulled the wrong card and moved back five spaces.
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf and sex."
What do orphans play on Roblox?
Adopt Me.
Why can't Asians play cricket? They'll eat the bat.
Why do people play basketball?
Because they want to learn how to suck balls.
Why can't America play chess?
They're missing two towers.
Do you play COC?
Because it’s a pretty good game.