Play jokes
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
You know chords, right? Well, you know what I love to do? To play with A-minor. You know, feel your fingers on A-minor. Gives you a sense of power, to just F A-minor.
But that's not my favorite thing to fiddle with. That would be the D of minors. It's just solid, you know. If you're clever you can have the D of minors into the C of minors. Or, though a bit tricky, the D of minors into the B of minors.
And at this point you've gotten the point and if I want to continue it would be a bit of a stretch.
Why can't skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?
The Windows shutdown sound plays.
22 ants were playing football in a saucer.
One ant said to another one, “We'll have to play better tomorrow. We're playing in the cup!”
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.
Tits are like Lego bricks. They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.
Yo mama played the iceberg in Titanic.
Yo mama so stupid, she hides behind a glass door when playing hide and seek.
What is the opposite of Progress?
Congress.
What STD can you get from phone sex?
Hearing AIDS.
Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.