Plant jokes
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
I hate long plants. They make me Ivysaur. Hahahahahahaha Pokemon!
Memes
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn?
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
What did the bee say to the flower?
"Hey bud! When do you open?"
What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!
Yo mama so stupid she thought seaweed was something fish smoke.
Why couldn't the carrot go to his friend's house?
Because he was grounded.
I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.
If my cat were a cactus, doesn't that make him the catus?
What was the oak tree's response to the apple tree's joke?
You should leaf it alone!
Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call.
He got hurt in a egg-cident, and it never got eggs-elent.
When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower.
It happened too fast, he watched the very last.
Next he died, eaten all fried.
Bean.
What is a room you can not enter?
A mushroom.
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?
The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!