Plant jokes
What is one of the worst but funniest incidents ever: a bullet in a baby in a baggy in a barrel in a bus in a nuclear plant were all of the employee's are molesters?
The depressed kid tried to high five the tree.
But the tree left him hanging!
Where were the first orange trees 🍊🌳 planted?
In Orange County.
I fucking love rhubarbs.
What did the bee say to the flower?
"Hey bud! When do you open?"
When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."
I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."
You pecan do it!
What does a baby banana call her mum? Na na, get it? Instead of ma ma.
What was the oak tree's response to the apple tree's joke?
You should leaf it alone!
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?
Trees are just bushes with lift kits.
9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse.
2 people bought plants.
3 people bought shovels.
1 person yelled.
3 people left Bunnings Warehouse.
1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired! 💁♀️🤦♀️
What's a pedophile's favorite type of garden?
A kindergarden.
Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.
*****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****
What's Jack's favorite flower? A rose.
I hate long plants. They make me Ivysaur. Hahahahahahaha Pokemon!
In a thick Russian accent:
"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."
What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.