Plant jokes
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On the school bus, the pricks are on the inside, but on a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.
A depressed kid went to go high five a tree.
But the tree left him hanging.
What did the flower say to the crazy peanut?
"Ur going nuts boii, get back on yo' plant. Ur too nuts for me."
Why aren't emos and trees friends? Because the tree leaves them hanging.
If a tree could be any animal, what would it be?
Answer: A dog because of its bark lol. 😀
Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.
Why did the beans fuck the mum to make bouncing beans?
Grass for lash.
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
If you have emo grass and don't pay attention to it, it will cut itself.
I fucking love rhubarbs.
Where were the first orange trees 🍊🌳 planted?
In Orange County.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple has a family tree.
What did the tree say when spring finally arrived?
"What a re-leaf."
Spring is here, I got so excited, I wet my plants!
What’s a vacuum cleaner’s favorite plant?
Answer: SUCCulent
I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."
What did the tree do to the emo? Left her hanging.
What is one of the worst but funniest incidents ever: a bullet in a baby in a baggy in a barrel in a bus in a nuclear plant were all of the employee's are molesters?
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
Self-raising flour.