Pillow jokes

1 like = 1 kid in the bed with me.

What are the last two words you say after sex before going to sleep?

"Goodnight, Mom!"

How to get a girl in three steps:

Step 1: grab a pillow.

Step 2: grab a blanket.

Step 3: keep dreaming.

I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!

Never challenge death to a pillow fight.

Unless you're prepared for the reapercushions.

I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.

It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!

What was found under MJ's pillow after he died?

Billy's jeans.

Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?

A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.

Did you make your bed this morning? Wanna unmake it together?

Bf: Hey, what ya doing?

Gf: Just lying in bed.

Bf: Just lying in bed?

Gf: And eating cereal.

Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?

Gf: Eat my cereal.

Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.

Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.

You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.

I love going to sleep at night.

My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words... through the pillow.

Why was the man running around his bed?

Because he needed to catch up on his sleep!

I couldn't find my cat, and then my pillow started meowing.

When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.

But you know you live alone.