Pillow jokes

What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?

A pillow fight.

I will always remember my grandma's last words: "What are you doing with that pillow?"

Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.

Why did Chad date the 9 yr old?

Because Stellas hot.

What do you call 2 homeless people throwing rocks at each other? "Pillow Fight!"

Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.

Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....

Mom: It's a pillow fort.

Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?

Mom: You're almost 19 years old.

Me: Not good enough... OUT!

1 like = 1 kid in the bed with me.

I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.

It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!

How to get a girl in three steps:

Step 1: grab a pillow.

Step 2: grab a blanket.

Step 3: keep dreaming.

Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?

A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.

One day, little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parents' bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." Little Johnny said, "Who is your partner?" Dad said, "Your mom." On his way up, he passed by his sister's room and noticed sheets bouncing around and asked what she’s doing. She said, "Playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul." The next day, Dad came to ask Johnny a question. The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw the sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." His dad asked him who his partner was. Little Johnny said, "You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand."

I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.

Did you make your bed this morning? Wanna unmake it together?

What was found under MJ's pillow after he died?

Billy's jeans.

Your mama is so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept.

You’re so short, you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.

There were three boys on the top of a slide.

The first one went down yelling "gold!" and landed in a pot of gold. The second boy went down and shouted "pillows!" and landed in a heap of pillows. The final boy went down and shouted "weeeeeeeee!"

Yo mama so fat, she has to use pillowcases for socks.

I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!

I had a dream that I was destroying the world, and I blew up my house for fun. I woke up and couldn't find my pillow... nor the house.