Piece jokes

What's bigger than Kurt Cobain's head?

What do you mean? He doesn't have one.

Shut the fuck up, you fat bitch. You always like to roast others, but you can't walk up the stairs without passing out, you fat, stupid bitch. And I caught you breaking into someone's house just to steal a piece of candy, fat-ass bitch.

What do you call that big, useless piece of skin attached to the outside of a vagina?

A woman.

I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth. It's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet.

"Break me a piece of that Kit Kat bar."

My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.

I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.

It's just too tear-able.

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.

"Dog the dog" and Maggie were frightened of her, and the kangaroo said that she had to be in a hospital with a doctor. Jokes and Maggie were walking. I was going to go off the road to the city hall to see her, and I said that the only one-piece dress for women readymade RB collection, as he was walking in the city, and Maggie was a little bit more on the side of it.

Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?

You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-

(Destroys phone cutely)

A man walked into the kitchen and asked his blonde wife what she was doing. She said, "I'm trying to do this jigsaw puzzle. It's supposed to be a tiger, but all of the pieces are brown." Her husband then said, "Honey, those are frosted flakes."

I told my friend to watch Naruto. It's been a week since I've seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece.

I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.

What happened when the gun dealer found his pistol in his shoe?

He found that he had a piece in his sole!

I love breakups. My ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

The chicken was in 666 pieces after being molested by Gerard brutally with a rail gun covered in spears covered in his lymph. His beak was ripped open and shoved in his feet after glass shards were shoved into his eyes until they came out the other side. His feet were nailed to the ground.

I wanted another piece of pizza... but she said I could only have One Piece.

I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.

I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.

I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.