Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
chuck Norris get`s pulled over by cop and the cop gets a ticket
I parked in a disabled space today...
...and a traffic warden shouted to me, “Oi, what's your disability?” I said “Tourettes! Now fuck off!”
Q: why did the cat get a ticket A: he was caught littering
Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...
It’s a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.
Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
Why didn’t the orphan see the new movie?
It was spider man no way home
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
The police police gave you a fine for not fixing your ugly hairline.
A man got pulled over and the policeman had stepped out and said do you know how fast you were going and the man said I was trying to catch up with the traffic and the officer said there is no traffic the man said exactly that’s how far behind I am
When I was younger i went to an indian convenience store to pick up a lottery ticket. When the Cashier handed me the ticket, she told me to "hold it properly". So I ripped the red dot right off of her forehead.
Why can't orphans go to movies There Pg 13 movies
Why did the T-Rex 🦖 get a ticket?
He ran at a stomp light!
If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft LOTTO?
I left a ticket to a WNBA game on the dashboard when I went to go get the groceries. A burglar broke in and left another one on the dashboard.
Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got ‘fine’ written all over you.
Did you hear about how that deaf man got a ticket?
It's ok he didn't either!
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.
However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.
So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.
He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.
The man replies, “No.”
The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”
The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”
So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.
