Jack and Jill went up a hill
To pick some dill
Jack slid down the hill and hurt his leg of skill
And he needed a painkiller pill
A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers. But there’s a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them. Then, he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a really long line for that too. After a few hours, he gets the tux. That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. There’s a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.
Dad: Son, you're adopted.
Son: Oh wow I wonder who my real parents are.
Dad: We are your real parents, your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.
Why do orphans always get picked on?
They can't run and tell their parents.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
There was a guy called manners on called poo and called shut up One day manners was on his way to pick up poo from school A police officer stopped shut up and said police: what’s you name Shut up: shut up Police:weres your manners?! Shut up: picking up poo
My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7Up.
Why do indian guys never have gf's? bc they always pick curry and biryani over girls
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher. They said: you can't be a pro-grammer nazi.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
my sister and I were hanging out when she opened her drawer and pulled out 3 condoms and said "pick one"
(pick-up line) if ur tits are the twin towers...... can i be ur osama
Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun, it comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now pay later.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
If I ever stuff up a post, please let me be. I do have ADHD, short term memory disorder and dyscalculia so please remember that no-one likes to be picked on for things that they can't control.
Young Couple gets banned from church.
There were three couples, one elderly, one middle aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.
After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!"So the minister welcomes them to the church.
Then he asks the middle aged couple the same question "Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.
Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.
"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me! I took her right there."
"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"
"We understand," says the husband, "We were banned from the grocery store, too."
