Pick Up jokes
I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.
(This is a fucked up pick up line). Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11.
In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."
One day I went to talk to my friend.
"Hi John!" I said.
No response.
"Oh, yeah."
I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.
"Hope that helps!"
Are you the Lusitania 'cause I wanna fire a torpedo inside you?
Spy: Hahaha.
Me: What?
Spy: Time to pick up your mother.
Me: Oh no....
What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?
"May I push your stool in?"
Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.
It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.
Yo mama so fat, she can't pick up a dumbbell... the dumbbell pick her up.
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he dropped the mic and picked up weights!
Sorry for this Pick Up Line.
Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11, so let me put my plane in and let kids fall out.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Only the apple got picked up.
Do you love water?
Then you love 75% of me!
Are you a haunted house?
Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.
One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.
He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.
So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"
Me: I must have a mirror in my jeans, 'cause I see you in my pants.
Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!
A panda goes to see a hooker. He goes down on her, he mates with her, he ejaculates and then he attempts to walk away.
The working girl asks, "Aren't you going to pay me?"
She opens the dictionary to "Prostitute: One who sells sexual companionship for money."
The panda picks up the dictionary and turns to the definition "Panda: A marsupial who eats, roots, shoots, and leaves."
Are you the Twin Towers? Cause I'd love to take you out. 🤭
Are you a Pikachu?
Because you are SHOCKINGLY beautiful!
Pokemon