Physics jokes
Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?
What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.
Why did Blitzkrieg work so well in France?
Because lightning always follows the path of least resistance.
Q: How heavy is a photon?
A: It's light!
I have been reading this book about zero gravity. I can’t seem to put it down.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it didn't want to be argon.
Even if there was no gravity, I'd still fall for you.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.
What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?
Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)
Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?
Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
*Windows turning off*
An emo girl jumped out of a tree at the same time a feather fell to the ground... What hit the ground first?
The feather, the girl was stopped by a rope.
Knock knock. Who's there? Stephen Hawking. Wheelie?
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?
Rock and Roll.
Fat kids are so fat, they have their own gravitational pull.
How do fat people settle arguments?
By bumping into each other to see who falls over first.
A leaf and an emo fall from a tree. Which hits the ground first?
The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal; its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall.