Physics jokes
If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree, which would hit the ground first?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
Why don’t they let Stephen Hawking have other electronics around him? Because he will sound staticky.
When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.
Have you heard about the new movie with Stephen Hawking as the star? It's called "Unplugged."
What was Stephen Hawking's mother's name?
Ilean.
Memes
The ham is in fact processed
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it didn't want to be argon.
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on his period?
Mario Kart.
Why did Jerry fall off the moon?
Because he got hit by a fridge.
Stephen Hawking walks into... er...rolls into a bar.
A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?
The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.
Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
His wife changed the WiFi password.
If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11-year-old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?
Which one fell first?
The depressed kid or the feather? Look at 1st comment to see answer.
Yo mama's so heavy and fat, gravity could not hold her down.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to Hell?
He couldn't get up the stairway to Heaven.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
If a physically handicapped gay white male is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall, and if you are a gay white male that is well-endowed that is not physically handicapped, and if you want the physically handicapped gay white male who is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall to suck your dick, what do you do to convince him to suck your dick if you have a hard on and your horny as hell?
Put $25.00 under the handicapped stall before you put your dick under the handicapped stall.