Physics jokes

There are painkillers, but they only relieve physical pain. I wish something could relieve my internal pain.

If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree, which would hit the ground first?

The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.

Have you heard about the new movie with Stephen Hawking as the star? It's called "Unplugged."

Why don’t they let Stephen Hawking have other electronics around him? Because he will sound staticky.

When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.

Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?

Yeah, neither has he.

Why did the electron leave the atom?

Because it didn't want to be argon.

What was Stephen Hawking's mother's name?

Ilean.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on his period?

Mario Kart.

Why did Jerry fall off the moon?

Because he got hit by a fridge.

Stephen Hawking walks into... er...rolls into a bar.

A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?

The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.

He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.

If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11-year-old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?

Which one fell first?

The depressed kid or the feather? Look at 1st comment to see answer.

Why did Steven Hawking die?

His wife changed the WiFi password.

Yo mama's so heavy and fat, gravity could not hold her down.

Why did Stephen Hawking go to Hell?

He couldn't get up the stairway to Heaven.

Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.

What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.