Physics jokes
Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?
Son: Why?
Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.
What atom presents TV shows?
David Atombrough.
If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal; its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
Q: How heavy is a photon?
A: It's light!
Why did Blitzkrieg work so well in France?
Because lightning always follows the path of least resistance.
I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand-up.
Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
A donut is not empty inside, that was a hole in the middle. If I'm a donut, the hole used to be where I put my feeling and happiness, but people snatch it away from me.
Anyway, can someone put a hole in my physical body too? I kinda wanted to see people cry for me just like how people cry for Ace from One Piece.
The Arabian Sea is in which state?
Liquid.
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh wait...
An emo girl jumped out of a tree at the same time a feather fell to the ground... What hit the ground first?
The feather, the girl was stopped by a rope.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?
Rock and Roll.
What do you call a gay man that is not physically handicapped that performs blowjobs on gay men that are physically handicapped?
Caregiver.
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.
A leaf and an emo fall from a tree. Which hits the ground first?
The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.