Physics jokes
Balls are annoying. They just bounce and never keep still.
What's the difference between a bird and a kid on the roof?
The bird can fly off the roof.
What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?
The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
Steven Hawking walks into a bar... no, I'm just kidding.
Memes
What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.
Stephen Hawking walks into a b... nevermind.
How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).
Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?
Neither has he. 😂😂
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"
I moved all the Bibles to the fiction section because there is no God, as said Stephen Hawking in 2011, but in 2018, God said there was no Stephen Hawking.
What gives you the power to walk through a wall?
A door.
How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?
Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
Where can a gay male that is abled bodied find the location of a glory hole if he is looking for a free and anonymous blowjob from another gay male?
From a physically disabled gay male who is either at the gym 💪 💪 🏋️♂️ or at the rest area ♿️ 🚹 🚽.
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.