Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).
I moved all the bibles to the fiction section because there is no god as said Stephen Hawking in 2011 but in 2018 god said there was no Stephen Hawking
What gives you the power to walk through a wall?
A door.
How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?
Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
Men and women are not equal, speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable (sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell?
We're not sexist men; you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, men were created before women. Search it up in the Bible or online.
Stephen Hawking said there is no god. God said there is no Stephen Hawking
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?
An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.
He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"
He was saying jokes, and someone said, "You are on a roll!"
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
"Highway to Hell."
Why do physically challenged gay men suck dick better than females who are able-bodied and heterosexual?
Because physically challenged gay men do it best! 👏 🙌 👍👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 🥰 😊 😃 😄 😁 😍 💖 ❤️ 💖 ❣️ 💕 💘
Why don’t they let Stephen Hawking have other electronics around him? Because he will sound staticky.
When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.
