Physics jokes

I have been reading this book about zero gravity. I can’t seem to put it down.

Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?

Because he had a new window open...

Steven Hawking walks into a bar... no, I'm just kidding.

What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.

Stephen Hawking walks into a b... nevermind.

How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?

If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).

Stephen Hawking tried comedy.

His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."

Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?

Neither has he. 😂😂

What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"

I moved all the Bibles to the fiction section because there is no God, as said Stephen Hawking in 2011, but in 2018, God said there was no Stephen Hawking.

What gives you the power to walk through a wall?

A door.

How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?

Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.

Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"

"Are you sure?" asks the other.

"I'm positive!"

Your forehead so big it's got its own gravitational pull.

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.

How do u make a sausage roll?

Push it down the hill.🍆

He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"

What part of a vegetable can't you eat? The wheelchair.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song?

The wheels on the chair go round and round.