Physics jokes

I have been reading this book about zero gravity. I can’t seem to put it down.

Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?

Because he had a new window open...

Steven Hawking walks into a bar... no, I'm just kidding.

What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.

Stephen Hawking walks into a b... nevermind.

How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?

If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).

Stephen Hawking tried comedy.

His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."

Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?

Neither has he. 😂😂

What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"

I moved all the Bibles to the fiction section because there is no God, as said Stephen Hawking in 2011, but in 2018, God said there was no Stephen Hawking.

What gives you the power to walk through a wall?

A door.

How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?

Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.

Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"

"Are you sure?" asks the other.

"I'm positive!"

Men and women are not equal, speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable (sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell?

We're not sexist men; you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, men were created before women. Search it up in the Bible or online.

Your forehead so big it's got its own gravitational pull.

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.

How do u make a sausage roll?

Push it down the hill.🍆

He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"

What part of a vegetable can't you eat? The wheelchair.