My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.
One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post
You know it’s called the circle of life? Because there’s no point to it.
We forge the chains we wear in life.
Eugenics is Hitler-like and, more importantly, feminist thinking.
Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?
The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are... Woah!
A true God would be godless himself.
Has anyone alive ever died?
Is this our eternal life?
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
Why is death taken so lightly?
Because you can take it so quickly.
COBRA GRINDSET OF THE DAY: Depression isn't real. You feel sad, you move on.
You will always be depressed if your life is depressing. Change it, bitch!
"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem." - Jack Sparrow
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality.
"Confucius say, man who has mosquito on balls truly understands nonviolence."
This is not really a joke, but it's a question.
If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?
Who am I?
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.
"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.
You've realized I exist? Huh, cool.
