Personal jokes
Q: What kind of person has 100% ambition and never gives up if someone gets in their way?
A: A rapist.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
What is the email password of a black person?
"watermelon"
What is a black person's least favorite word game?
Hangman.
Why can’t you have a proper conversation with a gay person?
They’re never straight with you.
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"
What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?
Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
Yo mama so fat, when she made a joke, only one person laughed at it: the pavement. It was absolutely cracking up!
What do you call a person with a flip flop?
My dad.
How did the fat person cross the road?
It rolled.
You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Sum Ting Wong.
Tell an old person to pretend [they are] shaking salt in their mouth... you'll see!
What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?
What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.