Personal jokes
Do you know 6+3?
Other person: Nine.
Nein is no in German.
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".
What do you call it when a white person beats a black person?
A KKKO.
So, a guy walks into a gas station and walks to the person working and says, "Can I have a Kit Kat Chunky?" So she gets him one, and then he says, "No, I want a normal Kit Kat, you fat bitch!"
this MIGHT be cosmos phone
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
What did the person with no hands get for Christmas?
He didn't open it yet.
Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?
The adult person I asked: Cereal?
Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?
The person: Yes.
Me: WHAT?!!!??!!
What does Chainsaw Man's chainsaw say as he chases a black person?
"Runnnnigernigernigerniger..."
I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.
What do you call a bald person on fire?
A fried egg.
A normal exorcism is getting a demon out of a person, but a reverse exorcism is the devil telling the priest to get out of the child.
Wow, paint can, you have such a colorful personality!
Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?
Other person: Yes.
Sorry, I'm still working on it! 😅
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
What do you call a person who died in war?
Little Johnny.
Person 1: I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date.
Person 2: OMg!
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
What do you call a Chinese person with 1 leg? Tie Son Whu.