Personal jokes

You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.

One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.

"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"

What is the email password of a black person?

"watermelon"

What do you call a person with Down syndrome who graduated high school?

Impossible!

The person that created the knock knock joke won the Nobel reward.

What do you call a white person having a seizure?

A saltshaker.

Why did the ball person go to the doctor?

He was kicked in the balls.

A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."

He was in the infantry.

What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?

A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).

What do you call a blind person on a date? A blind date.

What did the person with no hands get for Christmas?

He didn't open it yet.

If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.

The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"

Who was the most successful transgender and transracial person in history?

Michael Jackson. He grew up a poor, black boy, and died a rich, white woman.

A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a beer.

Same person.

What do you call it when a white person beats a black person?

A KKKO.

Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.

True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.

(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)

Hey you, the person who's scrolling, I know you might have depression and some feel they can't talk to anyone about it, so in the comments please, if you need to talk to others, if you comment about it and say you need to talk to someone, I promise you that I will talk to you. You are not alone, and even though it seems it won't change and get better, it will, I promise.

Please no harsh comments toward each other.

While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.