Personal jokes
What do you call a person who smokes?
Smokey the Bear.
Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".
Sometimes a depressed person is antidepression.
Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
Praise the all mighty Toaster!
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
So, a guy walks into a gas station and walks to the person working and says, "Can I have a Kit Kat Chunky?" So she gets him one, and then he says, "No, I want a normal Kit Kat, you fat bitch!"
What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"
I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️.
A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say.
Person 1: I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date.
Person 2: OMg!
I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.
Why can't a homeless person win a baseball game?
They can't find home plate.
What does the long distance call and a Black person have in common?
They both don’t work.
What do you call it when a white person beats a black person?
A KKKO.
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.
What do you call a person who died in war?
Little Johnny.
I got mad at my white friend today. I, as a darker person, had told them to meet me outside at 3 o'clock. They, being VERY special that day, had said, "AM or PM?"
Laughing at their question, I said, "Honey, 3 AM, because I'll lose a fight at 3 PM."
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
Q. What movie is a fat person most afraid of?
A. The Hunger Games.
What did Scorpion say to the ugly person?
"STAY OVER THERE!"