Personal

Personal Jokes

Idiot

Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?

Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.

Mother: Do you understand?

Leo: No.

Age

I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.

Suicide

Me and a person downtown.

Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.

Me: I guess so.

Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?

Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.

Person: Why'd you stop?

Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.

Maze

I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...

Chicken

Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Person: Why?

Me: Because he wanted to.

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  • Soda Can

    Did you hear about the person who got hit in the head with a soda can?

    Good thing it was a "soft" drink!

    Apple

    What's the difference between a black person and an apple?

    An apple chooses to hang.

    Batman

    What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?

    Batman has no one to call "daddy."

    Houdini

    What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.

    Life

    Person: Bro, you have a bad and stupid life.

    Me: Yeah, it was all good till you were here!

    Person: WTF!

    Trip

    What do you say when a person trips?

    You say, "Why you trippin'?"

    Opinion

    Hey, you person who's scrolling, please leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh, it's okay," etc.? It can be short; if you don't want to, then that's okay.

    Scale

    When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”