Personal jokes
Person 1: Hi, I am Tom, and you?
Person 2: Andrew?
Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?
Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.
Mother: Do you understand?
Leo: No.
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.
Person: Why'd you stop?
Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...
What do you call a black person swimming?
Cursed Minecraft image.
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Person: Why?
Me: Because he wanted to.
Did you hear about the person who got hit in the head with a soda can?
Good thing it was a "soft" drink!
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
I called the suicide hotline in Iraq. The person got excited and asked if I can drive a truck.
What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?
It left him hanging.
Orphans: Where are my parents?
Random person: In the bed.
What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
Hey, you person who's scrolling, please leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh, it's okay," etc.? It can be short; if you don't want to, then that's okay.
Person: Bro, you have a bad and stupid life.
Me: Yeah, it was all good till you were here!
Person: WTF!
Is it just me, or are you the prettiest person I've seen today?
What do you say when a person trips?
You say, "Why you trippin'?"
Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.