Personal jokes
Person 1: Hi, I am Tom, and you?
Person 2: Andrew?
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.
Person: Why'd you stop?
Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...
Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.
A Person that puts a RickRoll in a book is actually the hero we all needed...
What do you call a black person swimming?
Cursed Minecraft image.
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Person: Why?
Me: Because he wanted to.
Did you hear about the person who got hit in the head with a soda can?
Good thing it was a "soft" drink!
I called the suicide hotline in Iraq. The person got excited and asked if I can drive a truck.
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?
It left him hanging.
What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.
Orphans: Where are my parents?
Random person: In the bed.
Person: Bro, you have a bad and stupid life.
Me: Yeah, it was all good till you were here!
Person: WTF!
Is it just me, or are you the prettiest person I've seen today?
Hey, you person who's scrolling, please leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh, it's okay," etc.? It can be short; if you don't want to, then that's okay.
What do you say when a person trips?
You say, "Why you trippin'?"
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.