Personal jokes
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.
When you think about it, Hitler wasn’t a bad person. He killed Hitler.
Control tower to Boeing 747, you're clear to land on (said person)'s forehead.
Hey, you person who's scrolling, please leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh, it's okay," etc.? It can be short; if you don't want to, then that's okay.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
Wouldn’t the person be dead before the strangling starts? Unless Alastor did surgery?
A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."
What’s a gay person’s favorite book?
The dictionary.
Teacher: Take a seat, class.
Wheelchair person: I've been in the seat.
What is a blind person's favorite color?
Black.
What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?
The depressed person can scan themself.
Me: Your ugly...
Person: I'm not your mirror...
Me: I never told you to be my mirror :p
Teacher: "Okay, so how are you going?"
Student: "I'm not going."
Teacher: "Oh, so you're a wheelchair person?"
Gordon Ramsay isn't a racist. If a team screws up, he screams at every person equally—no matter what their skin color.
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...
Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed, but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop.
My two moods are “I can’t believe I get to be a person” and “I can’t believe I have to be a person.”
What do you call a person who measures air? Airometer.
If a skinny person wants to gain weight, does that make them a trans fat?
How Bibi celebrates Valentine's Day:
“I want to nutinyahu.”
“I’d blow up a school for you.”
“Can I be your ‘chosen person?’ 👉👈”
“I wanna bibi inside yo pp.”