Bout

Bout jokes

Mom

  • Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.

    Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!

    Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!

    Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!

    Jeffery Dahmer

  • Jeffery Dahmer has two things: an RV and a pit.

    What is different about the two is that one can't move and one has gas.

    But what is similar is tha-

    Wait, what is Jeffery doing? He has a knife, he is pulling men's pants down, he is...OH SHIT WHAT THE F-!

    Sorry 'bout that......

    Now, as I was saying,

    What is similar about the two is that one has and is a cockpit.

    Wait, a cockpit- JEFFERY WHAT THE F-!

  • 0
  • Taco

  • Does anyone else like Tacos? C'mon let's Taco 'bout it!!! :p Hey, Tacos are made of atoms too......

    Taco

  • I always talk to my taco before I eat it.

    One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!

  • 0
  • Would You Rather

  • Friend 1: Eyyy gurl

    Me: Hey! (Fake smile)

    Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?

    6 hours later

    Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?

    Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?

  • 0
  • Quarterback

  • "You did great!"

    "Come here and get your prize, a shiny quarter!"

    "Nah, that's okay."

    "Here's the quarterback."

    "You don't want the quarter?"

    "No! Quarterback!"

    "Huh?"

    (Crashes) (screams)

    "Yo, sorry 'bout that."

    "You think he's gonna be mad?"

    "Who? Baldi?"

    "Nah, he doesn't have a HAIR in the world!"

    (Annoying Orange laughs) (Baldi groans)

  • 2
  • Assault

  • A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"

  • 1
  • Morbius

  • Cause they about to taste my Morbius! I got that acrimonious odious Cause the bats are copious My blood flow is harmonious Bout to act felonious You know they hating us And we getting treasonous Woo when they get bit with the Morbius! I got that acrimonious odious Cause the bats are copious My blood flow is harmonious Bout to act felonious You know they hating us And we getting treasonous Woo when they get bit with the (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) Morbius (His name is Dr. Michael Morbius)

  • 5
  • Mum

  • Bruh, people always makin' jokes 'bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk.

  • 2
  • Fight

  • We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:

    1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.

    2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.

    3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).

    9/11

  • Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?

    Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.

  • 0
  • Head

  • Yo head so big I can skate on yo head.

    I'm talking bout real real big, set a plate on yo head, charge a phone on yo head, build a home on yo head, studio wide, write a song on yo head.

    Nacho

  • A Nacho has a problem going on, and the Taco says to the Nacho, "Wanna taco 'bout it?"

    And the Nacho says to the Taco, "It's nacho problem!"

    Kid

  • When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,

    other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."

  • 2
  • Bitch

  • Can't anyone relate to this? BEAT WATERSHARKY!!! -Oops!-By- Air Attack Productions and Yung Gravy-Ayy, supercalifragilisticexpiali dope shit Supercalifragi lick my ex be on some ho shit Superman, I get dem bands but ain't gon' buy you roses Super-duper get them cougars, took my wrist and froze it Super-duper hoes Y'all got Oompa Loompa hoes I ain't never knew ya hoes Prolly still ran through 'em, though.

    Oh, wait, wait, I, I do know your ho? You talkin' 'bout, you talkin' 'bout Tracy? Nah, you mean like, like, Tracy with the ass? Tracy with the, with the Honda? Shit, well.

    Oops, baby. Fuck up on your bitch, like oopsy daisy. Never knew that was your boo, baby. Hit her five times in the coupe, Mercedes, whoopsie daisy. Oops, baby. Gravy hit my bitch, yeah, whoopsie daisy. I just tryna hit, it's my duty, baby. Sippin' on the goose, like Boosie, baby. Yeah, I said oops, baby. Fuck up on your bitch, like oopsy daisy. Never knew that was your boo, baby. Hit her five times in the coupe, Mercedes, whoopsie daisy. Oops, baby. Gravy hit my bitch, yeah, whoopsie daisy. I just tryna hit, it's my duty, baby. Sippin' on the goose, like Boosie, baby.

    Lil' bitch, I'm happy and I know it so I clap them fuckin' cheeks, yeah I'm happy and I show it to your momma in the sheets And I'm happy she's a freak ho, happy so my teeth glow Yeah, my bitch elite, I be clapping every week My neck, my back, got your momma on my sack My checks, my racks, it's the return of the motherfuckin' mack And I stay with the pack, though. Clap, clap, then I'm out the backdoor. Lil' Pillsbury, I stack dough. Walkin' with a limp, like a crack ho.

    Yeah, I said oops, baby. Fuck up on your bitch, like oopsy daisy. Never knew that was your boo, baby. Hit her five times in the Coupe, Mercedes, whoopsie daisy. Oops, baby. Gravy hit my bitch, yeah, whoopsie daisy. I just tryna hit, it's my duty, baby. Sippin' on the goose, like Boosie, baby. Yeah, I said oops, baby. Fuck up on your bitch, like oopsy daisy. Never knew that was your boo, baby. Hit her five times in the Coupe, Mercedes, whoopsie daisy. Oops, baby. Gravy hit my bitch, yeah, whoopsie daisy. I just tryna hit, it's my duty, baby. Sippin' on the goose, like Boosie, baby.