Person jokes

Laughing Gas

My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.

So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.

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  • Penguin

    What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

    What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.

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  • Shadow

    what do you call a shadow stalker REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

    Comeback

    What's the best comeback for a person calling you an orphan?

    Kill their parents.

    Memes

    Orphan

    What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?

    They both cannot see their family.

    Friend

    My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*

    Me: Yea-

    My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*

    Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-

    Apple

    What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?

    They're both hanging from a tree.

    Ex

    Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”

    Person 2: “What happened?”

    Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”

    Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”

    Person 1: “I was in my car.”

    Octopus

    Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?

    Person B: Tentacles?

    Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*