Person jokes
What did the bank say to the person?
Bank you very much.
What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?
One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.
(Yes, I know God created the rainbow, not Jesus.)
Teacher: Take a seat, class.
Wheelchair person: I've been in the seat.
Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.
They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.
when the bitch tryna start shit
The only person I'd have a cooking lesson with is Hitler.
Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?
Apparently Steven Hawking was a stand-up kind of guy.
Fat people: Do I look beautiful when I eat a pack of chicken?
Me: Yes, you look like a bunch of boulders crashing into each other.
Fat: Dang...
Me: Shut up, Jon Brower Minnoch.
You: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE KRAP THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH!
The other person: Who?
You aka answer: Your Butt cheeks.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay person's house!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Who is the only person time waits for? Nun.
Who did Stephen Hawking love more than anyone else?
His wife, "Eye," who was also bad at running.
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
A dyslexic walks into a bra.
You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.
Sam Mensah!
Person: I broke my arm in three places.
Doctor: Well, don't go to those three places then.
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."