What do you call a fat person in a wheelchair?
A broken wheelchair.
What do you call a fat person in a wheelchair?
A broken wheelchair.
What mental disorder do all Mexicans have?
Borderline Personality Disorder.
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
I called the suicide hotline in Iraq. The person got excited and asked if I can drive a truck.
How do you know someone has Down syndrome?
They're doing better than you.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
If depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with huge amounts of autism, that would be me.
What do you call a black person in a swimming pool?
Coco Pops.
Dave got a new job at the suicide hotline.
The manager shows him to his desk and Dave has a seat.
The manager says, "Remember! Your job is to make sure that the person at the other end of the line does not kill himself, no matter what! That's the one thing you have to do!"
Dave says "No problem! I will do exactly what you just told me!" and the manager leaves him to his job.
A few minutes, later Dave's phone rings.
"Hello?" Dave answers. No response for a few seconds, then a voice appears.
"My wife cheated on me," a man says. The man on the other end of the line is clearly depressed.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Dave says.
"I found out that she's been doing it for months; she says I don't treat her well enough. She's filing for divorce and threatening to take the kids from me. I don't know what to do. I just took up drinking and gambling, the pain goes away at first but it always comes back. I don't think I can even afford to see a psychiatrist; money is tight as it always is. I wish I could manage my finances better... I just don't see any way out. I think the only thing I can do that makes sense is to just kill myself."
Dave pauses for a moment, thinks, and then he asks:
"Wouldn't it make more sense to kill her?"
What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!
What's the difference between a dog from an Asian person and a cat from an Asian person?
Only the taste.
What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?
A wheel dealer.