Person jokes
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.
You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.
I am not a nerd ;). I'm just smarter than you.
Louie Fennell.
Control tower to Boeing 747, you're clear to land on (said person)'s forehead.
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
Life is too short, just like me. Get roasted, short people!
Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.
Hi, what's your name?
I don't know, I'm disabled.
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
Neither of them respect boundaries.
Josh
What do a black person and Alexander Hamilton have in common?
They both got shot.
So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.
1 hour before:
So let me get...
Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!
Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*
You aren't alone. If you ever need to chat, I'm here. From one person to another. I hate this condition. I wish we didn't struggle.
Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.
Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.
...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.
What kind of car does an Indian person drive? A Pri-yas.