Person jokes

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Coff- na, jk, bleach.

My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*

Me: Yea-

My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*

Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-

What's a dying person's least favorite app? TikTok.

What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?

They're both hanging from a tree.

Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?

Person B: Tentacles?

Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*

What do you call a transgender person? Nintendo Switch.

God: You're gonna have 2 parents.

Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.

I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"

Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"

Asians love it when a British person says "Race!"

If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.

Nobody: Aww, that's so sad!

Me: Just like me.

Sometimes I get jealous when I see a gravestone.

What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?

Non-buy dairy.

What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?

They both cannot see their family.

Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.

What is the best game for a deaf person?

Charades.

You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.

I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?

I called an Asian person and asked, 'Is this Mister Wing?' 'No.'

I called once more and asked, 'Is this Mister Wong?' 'No.'

I guess I 'winged the Wong number.'