Person jokes
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”
Person 2: “What happened?”
Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”
Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”
Person 1: “I was in my car.”
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
What's a dying person's least favorite app? TikTok.
I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?
Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.
What is the best game for a deaf person?
Charades.
I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.
I called an Asian person and asked, 'Is this Mister Wing?' 'No.'
I called once more and asked, 'Is this Mister Wong?' 'No.'
I guess I 'winged the Wong number.'
I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"
Nobody: Aww, that's so sad!
Me: Just like me.
Sometimes I get jealous when I see a gravestone.
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
They say they'll stay, but I left first.
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
What do you call a gay person on fire? LGBBQ.
What do you call a disabled person on fire? Hot wheels.
What do you call an Asian person on fire? Vietnam.
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.