Person jokes
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Coff- na, jk, bleach.
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
An emo tried to give me a high five...
I left him hanging.
What kind of bath bomb does an emo person use?
A toaster.
How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”
Person 2: “What happened?”
Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”
Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”
Person 1: “I was in my car.”
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
What's a dying person's least favorite app? TikTok.
I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?
Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.
What is the best game for a deaf person?
Charades.
I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.
I called an Asian person and asked, 'Is this Mister Wing?' 'No.'
I called once more and asked, 'Is this Mister Wong?' 'No.'
I guess I 'winged the Wong number.'
I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"
Nobody: Aww, that's so sad!
Me: Just like me.
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.