Person jokes

Person: Hey, do you know what's the best thing in life?

...

You do realize that I said nothing, right?

Me: Exactly :)

Potters are dead xoxoxoxoxox.

Boosterthon asks to raise up to $35,000.

I donate $35,000. I ask, "What's my prize?" Boosterthon worker says, "Here's a headband." Me: "I donated the goal, so is that it?" Boosterthon worker: "No, it's $35,000 per person." I pass out. Boosterthon worker goes back to work like it is a regular day.

What do you call a pedophile who's dying? You.

Me sees crazy man hit a old poor person. Me dials 911.

Police: What is that location?

Me: I don't know where is dis location.

Police: Mission failed, we will try again later.

Me: WTH?

Police: Ends call.

Me: Calls hospital.

Hospital: What is that location?

Me: I don't know where is dis location.

Hospital: Mission failed, we will try again later.

Me: WTH IS HAPPENDS EVERY TIME NOW EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE.

Hospital: Hangs up.

Me: Calls fire dEpArTmEnT.

Fire: No fire.

Fire dEpArTmEnT: What is that location?

Me: Hangs up and give up and goes home.

Alex Hayermann.

What do you call a retard?

My name is Mariah Carly Brown, and I am an orphan, and what do I say about your jokes that are not funny... STOP THEM!

Dark humor is mean! All day I go to see all the jokes I find, and I see "Orphan jokes."

What kind of sick person likes that kind of joke? By the way, it is not a question. I have 3 twin sisters! Lariah, Kariah, and Iariah! Iariah starts with an i! So stop the jokes, please!

Tate

Why do you joke about Helen Keller?

She was a good person, and she learned sign language and learned to talk. So why DO YOU MAKE FUN OF HER!

What's the best thing about f***ing twenty-six year olds?

There's twenty of them.

Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!

Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.

You know what's so horrible about this website?

When I mimic another person's account, the picture ALWAYS changes color. No more identity theft for me.

What do you call a dwarf?

Adrian!

I (DYM 61).

What has legs but can't walk?

Don't know? A paralyzed person ;))

Fat people: Do I look beautiful when I eat a pack of chicken?

Me: Yes, you look like a bunch of boulders crashing into each other.

Fat: Dang...

Me: Shut up, Jon Brower Minnoch.

You're so short, you have to yell to talk to people!

Person 1: Omg, my blind boyfriend cheated on me.

Person 2: What did you expect? Him to see other hoes...

You're so fat, when someone calls you fat, you get depressed and cut you a slice of cake.