Person jokes
If you looked in the mirror, you would see an ugly person, which is you.
"I’m going through a lot of things right now," I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.
This is about Gwen.
I don't know her, but people are just causing too much drama over one person who never said one thing to them.
I would like to say that Jace, I disagree with you a lot, and I think you’re a very delusional person.
What did Caesar call a person?
She-Caesar.
I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.
Person: Hey, do you know what's the best thing in life?
...
You do realize that I said nothing, right?
Me: Exactly :)
Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get on the person's face.
Ben 10 and a disabled person are the same, but no aliens for the disabled person.
You're so skinny that people can't even see you.
Yo mama is so ugly, even the ugliest person in the world looked like a sword standing next to her.
The person next to me on my flight was shocked when they found out I was Arabian. I lagged so hard my gerber almost fell out of my pocket.
Who are you?
Yourself.
Potters are dead xoxoxoxoxox.
Boosterthon asks to raise up to $35,000.
I donate $35,000. I ask, "What's my prize?" Boosterthon worker says, "Here's a headband." Me: "I donated the goal, so is that it?" Boosterthon worker: "No, it's $35,000 per person." I pass out. Boosterthon worker goes back to work like it is a regular day.
What do you call a pedophile who's dying? You.
Me sees crazy man hit a old poor person. Me dials 911.
Police: What is that location?
Me: I don't know where is dis location.
Police: Mission failed, we will try again later.
Me: WTH?
Police: Ends call.
Me: Calls hospital.
Hospital: What is that location?
Me: I don't know where is dis location.
Hospital: Mission failed, we will try again later.
Me: WTH IS HAPPENDS EVERY TIME NOW EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE.
Hospital: Hangs up.
Me: Calls fire dEpArTmEnT.
Fire: No fire.
Fire dEpArTmEnT: What is that location?
Me: Hangs up and give up and goes home.
Alex Hayermann.
What do you call a retard?