Person jokes

How do you punish a blind person?

Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.

Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.

What do you call a flat-chested depressed person?

A cutting board.

Person: Where do I commit suicide?

Dog: Roof.

Person: Good idea.

A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.

A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"

You're walking alone on a street when a person slaps you with a silk glove and runs away. As you watch them run, 2 cops are chasing them.

What kind of person will steal Captain Hook's hook?

Answer: A hooker.

Surveys say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. That means the 5th one likes it.

What do you call a depressed person?

Me.

Why did the nose cross the road to find the person who "nose"?

What are some other names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle,” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”.

What do cannibals call a person that is running?

Fast food.

Lewis Clow

What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building? A cliffhanger.

I'm horny and gay.

I don't have a joke, I just have a friend named Jack.

What do you call a person in a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile.

What do you call a gay man that performs fellatio on a man and cunnilingus on a woman, a person who is curious about male bisexuality, a man that is bicurious?

Does it cycle now?

What do you call a person with no body and no nose? "Nobody knows."

Callum Coulter