Performance jokes
Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it's a soap opera.
A seizure is just an excuse for break dancing.
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good? Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!
"You raise me up to stand on mountains," said the dwarf pornstar on my penis.
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
MC Illusion.
posting Bionicle memes till I'm famous
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."
(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)
MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?
BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!
MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?
BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!
MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?
BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.
MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.
BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!
(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)
MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!
What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast!
Why did the Italian American Roman Catholic priest perform fellatio on gay men at the glory hole inside the adult bookstore?
Someone asked him what would he do for a Klondike Bar?
What happens when the music note starts to misbehave?
Then he gets into treble!
Wanna hear a paper joke? Nvm, it's terrible.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To improve his FLOW-CULUS.
Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist.
Louis' IQ is like his running; always two points below average.
Why did the rapper become a magician?
Because he wanted to drop some ILL-USIONS.
Why was the emo kicked out of the circus?
Because he was cutting in line!
Stephen Hawking can't walk the walk or talk the talk.
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
Why did the rapper always carry a pencil?
In case he had to draw a crowd.