*family are together playing charades*
Me: 50 Shades of Grey! Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on nan!
What is David Bowie known for when making music, he gets his beats from his kids
why did the man die of the actors performance?
the performance was unbeLIVEable
Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist
My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.
My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke
I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.
It ain't always having erectile dysfunction but it sure as hell ain't hard
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian and I know how to BAKEon breakfast
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy
"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune." Im a banjo picker and I can confirm this is 99% true.
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was “she was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife reply’s “perform the fucking autopsy!”
Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I dont know if you heard it but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I cant tell if it is metal or techno but it is more vaulable then joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.
Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert?
To NAVIGATE through the BEATS
How do rappers greet each other?
With a HIGH FIVE and a MIC DROP
What did the beat say to the rapper?
"You're OFF RHYTHM, but I'll give you a hand"
Why was the rapper always so confident?
Because he had a lot of RHYME and REASON
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary on stage?
To DEFINE his rap game
Why did the rapper bring a shovel to the concert?
To DIG DEEP with his lyrics
A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat. The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools the hat was covering the hips
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: You're doing standup tonight right?* Noob Joker (you): *Yes I am!* Owner: Get onto the stage Me: *walks up stage* Owner: this is the standup comedian noobpro Me: HEY GUYS HOW ABOUT SOME DONALD TRUMP Crowd: *RUNS*
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater." Fiancee:Break a leg
