Performance jokes
What’s the name of the band in the gay bar?
A: Beers for Queers.
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."
What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?
When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.
In my house, good sex sounds like seals slapping each other.
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
It's been known that Michael Jackson decided to do a song for the soundtrack for Free Willy, because he thought that he would get free willy in exchange for composing a song.
Jokers are all about the delivery.
Except abortion jokes...
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.
The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
Roblox Talent Shows be like:
Host: Next Up is Bob!
Bob: Hi! I'll be singing Pian-
*Buzzing Noises*
Judges: You suck!
Bob: I'm reporting!
*Bob get's kicked from the server*
My aunt worked as a human cannonball.
I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired.
How do you make a juggler laugh? You tickle his balls.
What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.
How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
Did you hear about that musical that was sung by some obsidian?
It rocked!
What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don't know what can't hurt them.
What do eggs like doing on stage?
Cracking jokes!
Dude, Mississippi got a better K/D ratio than you.
Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."