Performance jokes
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
There was once a Spanish magician. He said, "Uno, dos..." and he disappeared without a tres.
What’s the name of the band in the gay bar?
A: Beers for Queers.
In my house, good sex sounds like seals slapping each other.
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
Jokers are all about the delivery.
Except abortion jokes...
It's been known that Michael Jackson decided to do a song for the soundtrack for Free Willy, because he thought that he would get free willy in exchange for composing a song.
What is a group of singing terrorists called? A Taliband.
A seizure is just an excuse for break dancing.
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.
The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
My aunt worked as a human cannonball.
I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired.
Roblox Talent Shows be like:
Host: Next Up is Bob!
Bob: Hi! I'll be singing Pian-
*Buzzing Noises*
Judges: You suck!
Bob: I'm reporting!
*Bob get's kicked from the server*
How do you make a juggler laugh? You tickle his balls.
What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.
How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?
Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.
Did you hear about that musical that was sung by some obsidian?
It rocked!
What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.