Performance Jokes

Have you seen the inside of Ford's theatre it will blow your mind~abraham Lincoln

Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?

He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN

If sex is a pain in the ass then your doing it wrong

The Tent Pole Is Up, The Canvas Is Spread, The Hell With Breakfast, Come Back To Bed.

Take The Tent Pole Down, Put The Canvas Away, The Monkey Had A Hemorrhage, No Circus Today

Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?

Because he wanted to drop HIGHER BARS

once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shelleriouse.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Well I saw a stripper and she was try out bread

What’s a rapper’s favorite type of SHOE?

Ad-lib-idas

Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing? Me: Sure.. ( Expecting a completely different response than what I get. ) Sister: Nvm, they have no difference. Me: * Confused * Sister: They're both horrible.

A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form; Timo Werner still missed all the calls.

You know what's the most awkward situation in the world? A rappiest with erectile disfunction

Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero? He woke up and found out it was true.

I was at a concert, in the front row and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!". And I replied: "Is that a death fret?".