Performance jokes
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?
Why did the rapper become a magician?
Because he wanted to drop some ILL-USIONS.
Ever heard of rape jokes?
No?
Well, I'll MAKE you hear 'em!
A magician is driving, but then he "turns" into a driveway.
If you get this joke, you have no personality at all. Send all the help you can get:).
What do Rapboat and Caseoh have in common?
They're both chubby.
A Spanish magician is trying the disappearing trick. He counts "Uno, dos..." and leaves no trace.
I don't know, my friend did it.
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
A LYRICAL ILLUSIONIST
Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast!
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?
Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."
What do you call a booty that can do magic?
A butt trick!
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the concert?
So he could DEFINE his own beats!
Person 1: Hey, did you hear about the circus fire?
Person 2: No.
Person 1: It was in-tents.
Why was the emo kicked out of the circus?
Because he was cutting in line!
What do you call a midget stripper?
A pocket pussy.
Why do people always tell actors to break a leg?
Because every play has a cast.
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the stage?
To keep track of his rhyme time.
I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"
And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"
Louis' IQ is like his running; always two points below average.
Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it's a soap opera.