Performance

Performance Jokes

Rapper

Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?

Because he heard the bars were high.

Rapper

Why was the rapper so good at math?

Because he had great FLOW-CULUS skills!

Rapper

What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?

Eminem-o the Great.

Rapper

Why don't rappers ever get lost?

Because they always find their way with their flow.

Rapper

Why was the rapper always calm during performances?

Because he had a rap-titude for chillin'!

Rapper

Why did the rapper bring a shovel to the concert?

Because he was about to BURY the COMPETITION!

Rapper

What did the rapper say to the microphone?

"You better DROP THE BEAT, or I'll drop YOU!"

Rapper

Why did the rapper take a bath before his concert?

To get his flow SQUEAKY CLEAN!

Rapper

Why did the rapper become a weatherman?

To predict the HEAT of his next single.

Rapper

Why did the rapper bring a pencil to the concert?

In case he needed to drop some FRESH LINES.

Rapper

Why did the rapper go to the beach?

To catch some sick WAVES of applause!

Rapper

Why did the rapper go to space?

Because he wanted to drop some INTERGALACTIC BARS!

Partner

How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.

Dick

I suck his dick with a smile for hours at a time.

Stare at his nutsack while I hold back my cum tonight.

And when he ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle." (And when they ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle.")

But the fact is I can never get off of his fat dick. And all that they can ask is (Ask is, ask is) "I just wanna smack it" (I just wanna smack it)

Here's what the fact is He can put my asshole in a casket (Yuh, yuh, yuh) Asshole in a casket

So you can see I'm cummin' But you won't see me nut. And I'll just keep on suckin', I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)

And if he sucks my glizzy I will become dizzy But it keeps us busy, I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)

I've been twerking for boys for so long I've been flirting with boys for so long

My jaw's been hurting for so, so long it's real So long, it's real, so long, it's real

Priest

Why did the Italian American Roman Catholic priest perform fellatio on gay men at the glory hole inside the adult bookstore?

Someone asked him what would he do for a Klondike Bar?

Dick

My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.