Performance Jokes

So, I was at a stand up comedy show in Russia where the comedian was making fun of Putin. The jokes weren’t that good but I loved the execution.

Why Did Michael Jackson call Boyz 2 Men ? He thought they were a delivery service

These three men wanted to start a band one had the idea to call them the rolling stones, one wanted to call them the veggies the other said lets be the cripples as they all rolled away

Why did the dog 🐕 join the marching band?

Because he had his trum-bone.

Please welcome Mozarts The Magic Flute...

In A Minor

I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that i saw pristiano penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon

Most people say I'm a clown. Yet they don't laugh at my jokes. Most people avoid me, because I'm a "clown". Yet I'm not the center of the circus. But I know I'm gonna be a clown forever. Because I can't take this damn mask off, no matter how hard I try.

Weeks later: Finally I found out why I'm being called a clown...because my smiling face is fake...

What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.

How do rappers keep themselves clean?

They drop SOAP BARS

Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I dont know if you heard it but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I cant tell if it is metal or techno but it is more vaulable then joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.

You raise me up to stand on mountains said the drawf pornstar on my penis

I was a sit down comedian then i try to stand up I felled

I wished i stayed in the wheelchair.

Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad 🥶🥶

- 0 tapins 😍😍 - 0 assists 🤩🤩 - 3/3 dives 🤯🤯 - 0 key passes 🥵🥵 - 2 big chances missed 🤡🤡 - 1/4 dribbles 💀💀 - 2 Offsides 😤😤 - 27 claps 👏👏

Better than Elanga? 🥶🥶

what do you call a stand up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?????????????

What do you do if you're ever attacked by a gang of clowns???

Go for the juggler!!!

What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man bisexual

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone. Then, the birthday boy said "Hey, he's like my dad." "Really" asked a little girl? "I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."