Perfect

Perfect jokes

Cliff

    • COP: Are you high?

    ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*

    COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff.

  • 1
    • Perfect memes

    Bee

    • According to all known laws of aviation,

    there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

    Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

    The bee, of course, flies anyway

    because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

    Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

    Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.

    Barry! Breakfast is ready!

    Coming!

    Hang on a second.

    Hello?

    - Barry? - Adam?

    - Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.

    Looking sharp.

    Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.

    Sorry. I'm excited.

    Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.

    A perfect report card, all B's.

    Very proud.

    Ma! I got a thing going here.

    - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!

    - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!

    Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!

  • 6

    • Perception

    • No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either.

    It's just true.

  • 1

    • German

    • To be the perfect German, you need to be as thin as Göring, as tall as Goebbels, and as blonde as Hitler.

  • 2
    • Perfect memes

    Community talk

    • Listen up, you tools.

    The hamster is launching "Worst Jokes Jokes TV" 24/7. I know the guy - it's going to be total garbage for people with no hobbies. The rodent babbles trash while you stare blankly. Anyone watching this has officially hit rock bottom.

    Fits your empty heads perfectly.

    • Actually, Alain, while humans are capable of cruelty, selfishness, and betrayal, judging the entire species by its worst behavior overlooks the amazing qualities that humans also possess. Unlike dogs, humans have the capacity for complex reasoning, self-sacrifice, creativity, and empathy that go far beyond instinct. People have built hospitals, created systems of justice, rescued strangers in times of disaster, and devoted their lives to helping others they may never even meet again. Human intelligence is not proven by perfection, but by the ability to reflect, grow, and consciously choose compassion despite flaws and conflicting desires.

    Community