Perception jokes

You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.

Your momma is so stupid, when someone said it’s chilly outside, she brought a spoon and bowl.

All trucks are monster trucks if you’re afraid of trucks.

The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.

The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.

If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?

*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....

What came first? The chicken or the egg?

Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?

Who taught the first ever teacher?

If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?

If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?

In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?

Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?

How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?

The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?

Is it possible to cry underwater?

If two left handers have an argument, who is right?

I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O

Dark humor is like COVID-19... Not everyone gets it.

How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?

Because they both have eyes.

If your blind girlfriend says you have a big cock, she's probably just pulling your leg.

I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.

One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.

One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"

The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"

His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"

Adam and Eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?"

Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." So Adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?"

God says, "You are what you are."

Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."

Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.

What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?

Fill her closet with see-through clothes.

Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.

The only thing they can see are their chopsticks.

Your hairline is so bad, when people see the back of your head they say "nice beard!"

Your hairline is so far back I need binoculars to see it!

If you're born deaf, what language would you think in?

Your forehead is so big that you can see the whole world before you do!