People jokes
Most people say I'm a clown. Yet they don't laugh at my jokes. Most people avoid me because I'm a "clown". Yet I'm not the center of the circus. But I know I'm gonna be a clown forever. Because I can't take this damn mask off, no matter how hard I try.
Weeks later: Finally I found out why I'm being called a clown...because my smiling face is fake...
So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.
People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?
What is a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Five Guys.
Follow me if you need advice, or just follow me.
When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
What do emos and the Lorax have in common?
They both hang with trees.
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?
To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
There are only 2 things I hate in this world:
1. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 2. The French.
If I'm racist to everybody, am I even racist?
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
Why is prostitution illegal?
Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.
I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
How do fat people settle arguments?
By bumping into each other to see who falls over first.
In my free time, I like to help blind people.
Verb, not adjective.