People jokes

When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

What do emos and the Lorax have in common?

They both hang with trees.

People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?

What do old people and meth heads have in common? They usually trip over their balls.

Follow me if you need advice, or just follow me.

What is a cannibal's favorite place to eat?

Five Guys.

So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.

Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...

You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.

A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

What’s the difference between white people and Black people?

One runs from the police, one runs for the police.

What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?

Some people don’t pick it.

Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?

They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.

I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.

I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.

I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.

Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?

To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.

What do you call a group of black people in a shed?

Antique farm equipment.

In my free time, I like to help blind people.

Verb, not adjective.

There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.

What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?

There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.