People jokes
How did black people learn to steal sports cars?
By playing GTA nonstop.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
What’s the difference between Kendrick Lamar and an orphan?
He has family ties.
What's the difference between humans and mushrooms? I don't like eating mushrooms.
Who remembers when Gwen was the only thing people talked about on this website?
What's the difference between a redhead and an orangutan?
Some people adopt orangutans.
Q: What did people say when Kim Kardashian was at the beach?
A: Stop littering!
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
How many fat people are in my house?
20, counting the kids in the basement.
They say there is power in numbers.
Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.
According to statistics, 5 of 6 people enjoy gang rape.
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
All those people who are called Garry are gay And all of Belgium is very happy about it
What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the lights.
I'm about to tell a dwarf joke, see how short that was.
A TikTok I saw: "I'm in Canada, I'm in the United States!"
Most people: "I'm in South Korea, I'm in Nor- *boom*"
Me: "I'm in Palestine, I'm in Is... this heaven?"
*Insert me starting a war in the comments*
If I had a dollar for every time someone did something stupid,
I would have approximately 7.8 Billion dollars.
The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.
Today we had the best adventure ever! We started playing in the yard and doing ramps in a party van!
It all started when Timmy and I were playing in the yard and a white rusty van drove up to our yard. A nice man told us to get in. We said we would love to go, but our mommies wouldn't want us to go. The man said your mommies told me it was OK to come.
We hopped in the back and sped away super fast! The man gave us some candy, but Timmy and I were not hungry, so we didn't eat it. We saved it for later. After a while, I was wondering where we were going. I was about to ask the man, but then there was a whooping sound and some flashing blue lights! "Hey they want to party with us!" Timmy yelled over the whooping. "Party van!" I yelled.
Timmy and I started dancing and whooping and the van began driving faster, doing crazy race car stunts, and jumps! Then we noticed the lights and whooping were coming from some cars that were following us. The cars were black and white and said "P O L I C E” on the side.
We started to wave to them, but then the van did a HUGE jump and we flew out of the back of the van to the side of the road into some dirt, but it didn't really hurt that much. The van drove off without us, and I was really sad. Then Timmy told me the dirt was perfect for making mud pies. I was happy again. We played in the dirt awhile, until some people dressed like firefighters found us and brought us home. And then you asked me what happened. "Isn’t that right mommy?"