People jokes
I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.
People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.
Why did they invent white chocolate?
So Black people can be messy too.
What do you call two redheads on Mars?
Locals.
I apologize if those jokes didn't meet your expectations. Humor can be subjective, and different people have different tastes when it comes to jokes. I'll try my best to share a few more jokes with you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I'll go on ahead!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they'd be called bagels!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
I hope these bring a bit more amusement. Let me know if there's anything else I can assist you with!
So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.
When you kill people in a war, it's perfectly fine, but when it's a school, everyone has a problem with it, wth.
Dr. Dre caught his friend Snoop Dogg looking in other people's drawers. Dre then said, "Don't Snoop around."
What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?
The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.
One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.
What do you call a group of black people?
A hoodie.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.
If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.
P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.
Why do short people laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Americans when they think they have the best offensive British jokes: "we threw your tea in the ocean." 💀
British people making offensive jokes about America: "our towers didn’t explode."😎
I just watched a documentary about Adolf Hitler.
He sure was a popular guy. Everywhere he went, people shouted “Hi Hitler” and gave him a little wave.
You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.
Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."
Bro, imagine shooting a school for autistic people.
There are only 2 things I hate in this world:
1. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 2. The French.