People jokes

Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.

Japanese people are so cool and organized, they have their own ways of suicide.

How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?

He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!

I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.

This stuff is messed up, you people.

Deaf people suck lots of dicks.

They can't hear!

What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?

A mass murderer.

My aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said, "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or it's useless, throw it away."

The next time my aunt visited, she said, "Where is your daughter?"

My mom said, "I took your advice."

A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.

The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.

You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.

One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.

Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a pedophile. However, I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8-year-olds.

What games would deaf people not be good at?

Simon says and Musical chairs.

I stopped a terrorist from killing 100 people on a plane using self-control.

What do you call a bunch of people near each other?

The start of the Hollacoast.

- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"

- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.

- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.

- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.

- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.

Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.

The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.

I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"

Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?

A. A seatbelt.

What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?

There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.

So there was a school shooting in Florida. Why didn't the shooter just go to Disney?.......sorry, I just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.