People jokes

The time I saw you and you asked me to be your friend.

Me: "Yeah... no. You're too ugly. Even your parents never loved you."

Kid: 😭

Hiii everyone, I heard from many people that they want to join the "stop orphan jokes" group. Who wants to?

Why is death taken so lightly? It's terrible how people use it! (This is NOT a joke!)

Hey, who thinks Gwen is a dummy, so is Jaden and Kenya!

So um uh I like people who like people who like people.

White people can't say the N-word, but at least they can say, "Thanks for the warning, officer," and "Hi, Dad."

Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*

All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?

People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!

People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

Why was the people's wedding so miserable...

'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.

When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.

What do you call a pool full of disabled people?

Vegetable soup.

It's fucked up how people make these jokes, and when orphans read them, it makes them feel worse about themselves. I should know, I'm an orphan.

How is the world like a box of crayons?

Nobody likes the white ones.

And a side note, it's multi colored.

"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!

Wonder why the Japanese people didn't see the bombs coming?

They didn't open their eyes.

How do Asian people name their children?

They throw a pan down the stairs.

What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.

"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."

Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?

My sister looks like Santa Claus.

"You are so pretty?"

"No, too many people!"

Life’s not a game... but if it was, some people would still be stuck on the tutorial.

They say people can have a sharp mind. Yours is like a dull knitting needle.