People jokes

Why do black people have nightmares? Because the last person who had a dream got shot.

I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.

What do you call four black people in a sleeping bag?

A Kit Kat.

I've realized that suicide would solve all my problems... if I could just get the right people to try it.

Society

I tell short people to reach for the stars.

They are always a bit short of reach.

I don’t know if Jesus was black or white, but I know he for sure wasn’t Asian because people wouldn’t ask him to take the wheel.

What does "off-limits" have in common with dead people? They can’t see their family.

You're so skinny that people can't even see you.

When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"

Three people explored the jungles, one was from France, one from Britain, and the other from America.

While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three, "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However, we aren't that heartless, so we'll let you choose your deaths."

So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head, and said "Viva la France!" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested poison and said, "For the Queen!" and drank the poison. Lastly, the American asked for a spoon. The tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself, "Try make a canoe out of this one!"

If I had a dollar for every time someone did something stupid,

I would have approximately 7.8 Billion dollars.

I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.

What do you call a pool full of white people?

Kix.

What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?

Death.

Your hairline is so long, people call it "The Natural Disaster!"

Why are you sad?

I’m depressed. I know black people could cry.

Today we had the best adventure ever! We started playing in the yard and doing ramps in a party van!

It all started when Timmy and I were playing in the yard and a white rusty van drove up to our yard. A nice man told us to get in. We said we would love to go, but our mommies wouldn't want us to go. The man said your mommies told me it was OK to come.

We hopped in the back and sped away super fast! The man gave us some candy, but Timmy and I were not hungry, so we didn't eat it. We saved it for later. After a while, I was wondering where we were going. I was about to ask the man, but then there was a whooping sound and some flashing blue lights! "Hey they want to party with us!" Timmy yelled over the whooping. "Party van!" I yelled.

Timmy and I started dancing and whooping and the van began driving faster, doing crazy race car stunts, and jumps! Then we noticed the lights and whooping were coming from some cars that were following us. The cars were black and white and said "P O L I C E” on the side.

We started to wave to them, but then the van did a HUGE jump and we flew out of the back of the van to the side of the road into some dirt, but it didn't really hurt that much. The van drove off without us, and I was really sad. Then Timmy told me the dirt was perfect for making mud pies. I was happy again. We played in the dirt awhile, until some people dressed like firefighters found us and brought us home. And then you asked me what happened. "Isn’t that right mommy?"

In Ohio, people walk with their hands.

How do homeless people punish their children?

What are their children going to do? Go to their room?