People jokes

I like my people how I like my tea...

In a bag under water.

You know, people always say your life is worth it, but with me, it's worth-it-less.

Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.

All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check.

After all, it's not like Donald Trump could write a book.

Why do people in Alabama always swipe left on Tinder?

Because they aren't family!

Why can't disabled people make jokes?

Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?

What do white people and fences have in common? They both get jumped by Mexicans.

They told me I could never be an actor.

No one suspected me when they went missing the next day.

Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?

A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.

A fat man meets a skinny man.

The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."

And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."

I just watched a documentary about Adolf Hitler.

He sure was a popular guy. Everywhere he went, people shouted “Hi Hitler” and gave him a little wave.

Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a pedophile. However, I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8-year-olds.

What is the part of school with all the autistic people called? Downtown.

People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!

911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.

This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.

I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.

I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...

But now I don't know what to do with the letters.

People are pushing for a new black Lady Liberty coin. I can't wait to use black people as currency again.

This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.

Hey guys, I’m back, just wondering if anyone is still on this that wants me to make more.