People jokes

If I hung myself from a cliff, would people call me a cliffhanger?

To everyone saying, "Don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying." Do you think we have it easy? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.

A lot of people claim that white privilege does not exist. Well, how the hell do you explain Michael Jackson not being charged for raping children, despite ample evidence?

He sang a love song to a rat, yet stans are befuddled on why people keep calling their idol "Wacko Jacko".

What do Polish people in Poland use chop sticks for?

tweezers.

Why are people in Japan always skinny?

Because last time there was a "Fat Man", a whole city disappeared.

If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.

Me and a person downtown.

Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.

Me: I guess so.

Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?

Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.

Person: Why'd you stop?

Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.

Why can't homeless people be gay?

They don't have a closet to get out of.

Grandma: Young people your age are married by now, why aren’t you?

Me: Old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?

How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.

Islamist guys and American Christian right-wing guys are both similar in that both abhor the existence of gay people, but only the Christian Right loves to eat sausages, especially the little ones, if you know what I mean...

You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.

One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.

The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are.

How many black people does it take to start a protest? -1.

You shouldn’t bully fat people.

They already have enough on their plate.

Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.

People are pushing for a new black Lady Liberty coin. I can't wait to use black people as currency again.

I know five fat people, and you're three of them.

When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”