People jokes
So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.
That’s the punch line.
People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.
My advice to suicidal people: just hang in there. 🕺
Why don't Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
Why did the people in 9/11 not call 911? Because it would call the pilots.
Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”
Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.
I was trying to tell some people here to stop, but then I found out that the S was covered in blood from me assaulting someone.
Stop being disrespectful to all those people and their parents. Oh, I forgot, they don't have any parents.
What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?
They both hang from a tree!
Life is like a penis. Other people make it hard.
People are arguing about stopping orphan jokes.
Me: m e h. i d o n t c a r e.
Why do gay people get bad grades?
Because they don't get straight A's.
To all the little rude people here, fuck you. I didn't ruin this country, it was Putin!
There was a guy called John.
A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."
Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?
Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.
Popular guy in class: I am so funny.
Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.
Why aren't blind people in Brazil?
Because they can only read Braille. 🇧🇷 🙄
What is the similarity between depressed people and hoodies?
The color black.
Yo mama so fat, everyday people kept asking: "Are you pregnant?"