I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...
But now I don't know what to do with the letters.
I heard some twin brothers were going as buildings to the school costume contest, so I went as a plane. It didn't fly too well with people.
Some people could say that the sky was falling that day,
one second they saw the sun and the next they saw heaven.
Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.
The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”
There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.
Why did God create sex for marriage?
Because he wanted more people and less fun.
I hate it when disabled people get bullied...
... because they can't stand up for themselves.
The reason why people are short is because their dad never came back with the milk.
What kind of fish do people eat?
Deep-fried fish.
People say rape is bad. It is because I don't want STD and HIV.
People joking about 9/11.
Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."
Oh.
"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"
People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?
Being mean.
Yo momma so fat that people jumped on her cuz they thought she was a school bus.
Are people from Hamburg called Hamburgers?
People with bad past end up creating the worst future...
When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.
And then Mark came in.
No joke. I just want to say that my thoughts are with the Ukrainian people, and I wish them the best. Best of luck.
What is the worst comedy for disabled people?
Stand-up comedy!
People: Stop invading Ukraine!
Putin: Ukraine? you mean Mykraine.
