People jokes
I hate when people make 9/11 jokes, I'm just blown away.
I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
Did you know the Alabama Crimson Tide University has the most handicapped people? You know their motto, "Roll Tide."
Why do orphans not know how to spell?
Because no one likes them, dumb people. 🤭🤡
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa? Cause they make the toys.
Two Asian people have a black baby.
Something wrong.
Why can Asian people buy phones?
'Cause they might call the wrong number.
Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.
Why are drums and autistic people the same?
They both go "uh uh uh uh uh uh!"
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.
Let me know if you can't cum.
Why do orphans love elevators?
They raise people!
Bring out your weapons, people.
It's bullying time.
The people in the tower ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.
A chopper full of white people is also called a helicopter.
A chopper full of black people is called a hellacopter.
Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!