What did one astronaut say to the other astronaut after landing on the Moon?
"Ah! And people thought we were moons!"
Yo Mama is so huge when she was born everyone died
Why can't people in wheelchairs pass high school?
The pacer test.
Vegetarian: I prefer plants.
Herbivore: I just like food.
Cannibal: I'm a people person.
You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.
Girl: Can we visit Grandma this weekend?
Mother: Sure.
Five-year-old: Look mommy! Two people and they're wearing rope necklaces!
So, three guys are walking down the street together and decide to go rob a bank.
The first one goes for the richest man in the city’s vault but can’t open it easily and is caught and sent to death in jail for robbing the richest man.
The second one goes for his uncle's vault because screw that son of a b***h; he’s rich, why does he need all the money? But his uncle was unfortunately at the vault that day and snapped his nephew's neck.
The third one went for his ex’s vault and thought, “Well, that b***h can suck my d**k; she’s so poor anyway, who would care if I take all her money so she dies of hunger and dehydration and homelessness?” So he managed to get into her vault easily because it wasn’t heavily locked and took all her money. The next day, the third guy's ex showed up to his house and said, “I’m gonna f*****g murder you,” so she shot him dead and got her money from his house.
In hell, the three guys see each other and explain what happened. The third guy did and then asked, “You know, I don’t get it. If the richest guys are heavily guarded but already have so much money in their house, why does it need to be heavily guarded? I don’t understand why the poorer aren’t heavily guarded when they are so poor they need the money.” And the first guy said, “B***h, I don’t know, maybe the bank tellers think poor people should suck it and just die already.”
It's fucked up how people make these jokes, and when orphans read them, it makes them feel worse about themselves. I should know, I'm an orphan.
Just to get things straight, I'm NOT, I repeat, NOT racist, but this joke goes out to all the people who talk about other people with darker skin than the other person.
Bully: Your skin is so black and ugly (for the 5th time).
Me: I'm so happy you love my skin color!
Bully: Ew, no I don't!
Me: Then why do you keep talking about it?
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.
Tumblr people: "There are an infinite amount of genders."
The cannibal kid: "Bitch, please. There's just one gender: Food."
If people who live in Canada are Canadians, I mean if they drink Fanta, they’re fantastic.
Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."
A: It’s very delicious! Great! Fantastic!
B: Thank you.
A: People don’t speak when they eat delicious foods!
Fat people are thirsty, so I piss in their mouth.
Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her at Halloween.
I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?
Why were people sad when John F. Kennedy got shot? All he got was head.
Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?
When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.
