Pencil jokes

What did the pencil say to the sharpener? Please grind me!

Two pencils walking down the street.

Which one hasn’t got AIDS?

The one with the rubber on.

My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?

Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?

Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.

Guess who I saw at school today? Everyone I looked at. loooooooool

My friends think I'm bipolar. I threw a pencil case at someone and I walked out, walked back in 2 seconds later and I was sunshines and rainbows.

Why did Johnny drop his pencil?

To look up girls' skirts! 😬🤯😲😳😱🙀🙊

My pencil sharpener when I bleed:

And I don't really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.

"Paper is 2D!" said Pen.

"No, it's 3D!" said Pencil.

After Pencil proved it to Pen, Pen said, "Oh, I suppose you're write."

I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil, but now it is pointless.

What did the rapper say to his broken pencil?

"You're just not SHARP enough for my lyrics!"

I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...

But it’s quite pointless.

Do trees shit?

Well, how else would we get #2 pencils?

Why did the pen stop writing?

'Cause the pen wasn't very dependable.

Why did the rapper always carry a pencil?

In case he had to draw a crowd.

Little Johnny asked the teacher why you were no shirt. Teacher says, "Because I want to." The teacher drops her pencil and picks it up. The class starts laughing.

"What's so funny?" A kid took off your bra, and we see your squish sexy boobs.

My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"

I said, "Paper."

She said, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"

Kid: Mom, do trees poop?

Mom: Yes. That is how we get #2 pencils.

You like to draw? Because I like the MD, raw :)

What do you do when you run out of lines on your book?

You look at the emo girl and say, "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"